(in chant to him):
Tell me, why only look at me?
Is sickness all you see?
Swollen eyes, weary mind, dead inside?
Forget it, –
I’m more alive than you’ll ever be
How can I be weak and yet wage war inside of me?
Dead limbs don’t fight back, as still minds won’t contradict
There’s a truth between thy lies and thee;
Resistance craves alive, and alive craves me
So this came into my mind after stumbling across the phrase “dead inside”. I realize, despite all my troubles, that is the one thing I could never call myself. Dead inside? Contrariwise. Do you know how alive one has to be to fight? My mind is a war and I am the tireless weapon. I have a hold of my demons because deep inside I know they’re only projections of me, which in turn means I am stronger, faster and meaner than them.
While scary, it’s an utterly relieving thing to perceive how alive one is. So thank you sickness, this ode is to you.