Architect

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Artist: Hirata Yodom

They say destruction is creation
Wouldn’t that make me the greatest Architect of them all?
I’m an embodiment of chaos
Skin and bone, trapped predators fear
I can’t live without hurting
This great force swelling underneath my skin
Bending my bones
Stretching wings
Whispering obscene desires when no one else can hear

I have always lived with monsters
I call it home
The place where I create to be safe
This won’t consume me
If I keep feeding it hearts
Tales of longing and desire
It hurts to give them away
To design for a mouth that’s never content, always hungry
I know if I can’t satisfy it
It’ll turn on me soon
Using the force of my creation
to bring me to my knees
Making me drown
In the blood I’ve spilled
in the name of this self destructive piece of architecture

Paradox: I’ve always had two passions; the passion for creation and the passion for self destruction. This immense need to create is rewarding as long as I can control it, but when I let my guard down, it’ll instantly turn into a destructive force that paralyzes me. It is best kept on a leash. No, I don’t self harm anymore, but I’ll always have a will to destroy myself.

/Malicia

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6 thoughts on “Architect

  1. I’m glad you don’t deny or try to hide from your self-destructive impulses; those strategies never work, and only make those passions more deadly. Those impulses won’t readily accept a leash, but once the harness is in place you’ll be able to benefit from their energy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Architect | The Diligent Dilettante

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