What to do with all this love drink it swallow it then vomit it up but don’t stain the carpet
What to do with all this pain cough it up so you can drink it again
All I ever learned was how to defend myself from others but not how to let go
I can’t hold it, I can’t hold it
No. Eat. Swallow. Tuck in my tears behind my eyelids, never let go
I smile, lipstick and lies and intestines gushing out from my mouth
You think I’m pretty, I’m a fucking monster
I’ll eat you, I’ll eat them, I’ll devour you all
I’m all oozing wounds and ichor inside
Perverse satisfaction and self disgust and I’ll love you,
oh I will,
not as a human but as an abyss
I will never let go and
I’ll keep you safe and I’ll let you drink me
and what to do with all this wanting
when love grows too bold it will turn into destruction
and am I suffering well, am I holy now
with my teeth dripping and skin open
am I holy now?


Oh, my. I was planning to write something beautiful then this just came out. I guess it’s pretty legit since I am feeling truly disgusted with myself right now.



3 thoughts on “Sainted/Tainted

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